I got the new haircut today, and am loving it. Immediately, because that’s what my Lobster did for me when she got her new haircut, I took a picture and messaged her with it. Then, I thought I would post it because cute salon hair should not go to waste!
Of course seeing the photo on the small screen of my phone, and seeing the photo on the significantly larger screen of my laptop, I got a good look at everything I see that is not perfect. I don’t mind not being perfect. It doesn’t bother me that I’m not as symmetrical as Christy Turlington, or as creamy as Christina Hendricks, or as delicate and doe-eyed as Natalie Portman. It does aggravate me that my eyes are crooked, a la Shannen Doherty, that my lips are crooked, and that my nose is bulbous.
Before you comment telling me that I am gorgeous, remember that I agree with you. I must think highly of myself, or I wouldn’t take so many self portraits. That said, I can still want to date me and recognize the flaws.
All my perceived flaws in front of me, I took the photo (fig. 1 above), threw it into Paint, and Heidi Montagged myself. I transformed myself (badly, darlings) into FrankenLane (fig. 2 above).
I enlarged my mouth and centered it. My biggest gripe about my face is that it seems to exist in different planes. I also raised my left eye by a fraction. I made my nose smaller and longer. I shaved off some of my jaw. I added some hair. I would have softened my chin, but I was already bored.
Except for the nose, I don’t really care for the results. But by comparison, it makes me appreciate myself more as I am. It does give credence to my suspicion that a longer, thinner nose would be much more becoming, though. Ah well. I don’t believe in having surgery unless my life depends on it, and since I’m not trying to make it as a pop star or a model, I guess I’ll keep the one I’ve got.
