Elesean Fields

This is an old article from Vibe Magazine, regarding domestic violence and abuse in the rap community. 

I am very fortunate to have never been in a romantic relationship that turned abusive.  I mean, I've been punched in the head before, but not by a boyfriend.  I've known plenty of women who have, though (like my mom).  Women who were trapped by economics, courts, fear of death, or worse.  Some of these women live in pockets of society that believe they deserve to be beaten, and that it is a badge of honor for a man to whip his partner.  Or, friends, family, and outside observers who can't wrap their brains around a man beating a woman say things like, "Surely she brought it on herself."

I believe fear plays the biggest role in a woman staying.  It is so easy to say to a woman, "Leave that bastard!"  But what if she has no options?  Then you've got to have more than just "Leave!" waiting in the wings.  You've got to have a "Where to Go" a "What to Do" and a "How to Stay Free."  It is a shocking and solemn acknowledgment of how far some men will go to terrorize their partners that before you can open the link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, there is a warning to women that they can be caught out by their abusers just by visiting the site. The following alert pops up:

"Safety Alert: Computer use can be monitored and is impossible to completely clear. If you are afraid your internet and/or computer usage might be monitored, please use a safer computer, and/or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE(7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224. If you are viewing our site and need to quickly get away to an unrelated site, click the escape button in the top right corner and you will be redirected.  Please test these features on your computer RIGHT NOW to ensure that they work."

Can you imagine being that afraid?  Now, can you imagine thinking straight while you live in that kind of fear?

Following are links to websites that deal with the necessary imperatives.  Share them.  Getting away from abuse is sometimes as frightening as living in it--at home, at least you know what is coming and you have some defense mechanisms.  Out there alone?  Who knows if you can sink or swim.  These places help women swim.

National Domestic Violence Hotline

National Sexual Assault Hotline

Brighter Tomorrows, Dallas County (This link includes information about local women's shelters and transitional housing, DA, Legal and Police assistance, as well as immigration issues, children's issues, and support.)

While I was at the Murrah Memorial, I heard a woman say, "Violence doesn't kill ideas, it kills people."  I've been thinking about that since then.  Violence doesn't kill or stop anything but the individuals losing life. 

Parents, it's on you to teach this to your children.